A Moment of Reflection: Facing the Weight I’ve Gained
Let me share my journey of ongoing transformation and resilience. I’m 33 years old, a proud mother of two amazing children, both over 10 years old. Throughout my life, I faced challenges with my weight, but I always had embraced the opportunity to change. After the birth of my first child in 2012, I weighed just over 300 lbs. It was the heaviest I had ever been. I was determined to be the mother my daughter needed. I took a proactive step towards a healthier lifestyle. I successfully lost 100 pounds in just over a year. I committed to working out six days a week and enjoyed attending Weight Watchers meetings with my mom. In late summer of 2013, I discovered I was pregnant with my second child. I had mixed feelings about it because of the intense work I put in to lose so much weight. Still, I was excited to meet my baby boy. I knew how to lose the excess weight this time! So, I kept my eye on the bigger picture – growing my family while I worked to be the best version of myself. I was pleasantly surprised by my ability to manage my weight during my second pregnancy. I maintained a balanced diet. I continued exercising into the final weeks before I delivered. This led to a smooth transition back into fitness after the birth of my son. As a stay-at-home mom, I dedicated myself to my health goals while caring for my kids. This commitment empowered me and kept me on track until I began working in 2018. This is when life took a major turn. My personal life began falling apart little by little.
November of 2019, I made the toughest decision of my life by asking my husband for a separation. I will spare the personal details as it involves more than just myself. However, I enter this information for context regarding the weight gain I experienced in the years to follow. This was the beginning of my tripping and falling so far downhill. I began drinking heavily, I and gained over 150 pounds.
As we all know, in March of 2020, the country shut down due to COVID-19. So, just after my family’s life had been flipped upside-down from the separation, the world was hit by the pandemic. I lost my job. My children were trying to join in distance learning due to the pandemic shut downs of schools. It was a MESS. I turned to food on most days for stress relief. The days my children were with their father, I turned to alcohol.
I share all of this to say: we CAN overcome. We CAN pull ourselves out from the depths of depression. We CAN learn to live again.
I want to take you through the moment I realized just how bad the weight gain had become. Picture this. It’s the start of January 2025 and you decide it’s time for a positive change. You pull out the scale that has been collecting dust for months, ready to embrace the journey ahead. You place it on the dining room floor. You take a deep breath and push it to zero it out. Nervously, you step onto the scale, and the number 411.8 lit up in bright blue stares back at you.
The shame, guilt, embarrassment, and utter disbelief fill your mind. 411.8 lbs. How can this be real?Â
Nobody ever thinks that they will be over 400 lbs. It’s a number that seems absolutely outrageous because honestly, it is. My 5’7″ female body is not meant to carry that much weight. This weight is breaking me. This weight has taken away my ability to truly live a normal life.Â
Walking takes my breath away. My lower back hurts almost every moment of every day. I’m afraid to sit on benches or chairs because I’m scared it will collapse from my weight. I would go days without looking at myself in a mirror because the shame was soul crushing. Showering hurt my body and would leave me breathless. I am always hot. Like sweating while walking when it’s 50 F outside. My heart races from simple movement and the pain can be felt throughout my body. Even the easiest of tasks feel impossible.Â
What I describe above is what ultimately led me to seek help. That is the first step when you are unable to make the first move on your own. Asking for help is brave. Asking for help is one of the strongest decisions you can make. Mothers, really women in general, typically put themselves last. We care for everyone we love while neglecting the desperate needs we have. I’m telling you today that it is okay to check in with yourself and make sure you are having your needs met. Please, don’t wait years like I did.
It is time to change. An addict needs to decide to change, or they never will. The same is true for a weight loss journey. It requires a lifestyle change. In my case, I needed outside help because I felt so helpless.
The steps I recommend to kick off weight loss journey (along with what I personally have done):
- Step 1: I contacted my primary care physician to set up an appointment to discuss options for weight loss. I highly recommend you contact a medical doctor if possible. You can also reach out to other weight loss professionals to help you. This is especially important if you are like myself and have over 200 pounds to lose.
- Step 2: ask your provider to order blood-work as they see fit for your personal health needs. What my doctor did for me: My doctor ordered an array of blood-work which included a comprehensive metabolic panel, complete blood cell count, thyroid function, lipid profile, testosterone levels, vitamin D levels, and A1C (blood sugar)
- Step 3: discuss the results with your provider and create a plan that works for your personal situation. What my doctor did for me: Once the lab results were ready, I reviewed them with my doctor. My doctor prescribed a weekly vitamin D pill. I also got 750mg of Metformin to take once daily. I was severely vitamin D deficient. My A1C was high, indicating that I am pre-diabetic. He sent a referral out to the obesity specialist who discusses long term weight loss plans with patients.
- Step 4: follow through on the plan your provider has created alongside you and adjust as needed with the guidance from your provider. What my doctor did for me: I have a monthly visit to check in with the obesity specialist. She prescribed Zepbound injections to be administered at home every week. I will go over the dosage, side effects, weight loss per week and more in a separate blog post.
What I Want To Leave You With
I want this article to leave readers with an excitement to start on their own journey. People often say “if I can do it, you can too.” It is such a cliché, but I truly mean it. Before seeking help from my doctor, I was sure I would never get back to a weight loss mindset. I had fallen so far from the woman I was before the divorce that I thought she was gone forever. Thankfully, I was wrong.
It is never too late to start. You can always find your way back after straying from the path to becoming the best version of yourself. Personal growth, physical improvement and a change in lifestyle is absolutely doable, but it takes most of us years to achieve. I don’t say this to scare you. I say this to remind you to be patient with yourself on this journey.
To wrap this up I want to send all the best energy your way. I’m so thankful to have you joining me on this journey. As I mentioned throughout this blog post, you can take the next step to your greatest self. We can do this together.
I’ll be sharing my weight loss journey every Friday. I would love to have you join me and share in this experience together. Share your own story in the comment section (if you’d like). This is a community for all of us who want a space that is safe, relatable, honest and kind. Please, don’t be a stranger! Make sure you sign up for the monthly newsletter by entering your email below. The newsletter will include important blog updates, random downloadable freebies, what you may have missed, and more.